Hey there, Redhawks. Playday Guru here. It’s spring quarter and you know what that means: Kirkland Lite Signature Beer. Saturday, hundreds of you gathered in students’ backyards for some fun in the sun. Don’t worry, this is one playdate mom won’t know about.

As Playday Guru, it’s my job to see all. Below you will find some of the hottest trends I found while at Playday this year, and what to keep in mind for next time.

Nothing screams cool better than having your RA take your Playday picture. With those green shirts on and being halfway plastered, it’s every resident assistants’ dream to know you’re getting your drank on tonight.

PRO TIP: Holding the wine bottle you pregamed with is always a win. Remember it’s common courtesy to share with the designated photographer.

Fashion forward always. This is a public event, reputations are at stake. Cutting your t-shirt to your liking is a guarantee into making your day special. Who doesn’t love having a one-of-a-kind outfit?

PRO TIP: Don’t stop at the belly button. CUT IT UP. Wearing only the sleeves and painting your chest green is a Vogue MUST.

Playday isn’t only great for free drinks. Treat this occasion like you would if Aunt Becky took you to Target. You two just took shots in the backseat of her car and are ready with empty purses. The world is your oyster! Next time you see that mason jar in the kitchen, take it! You deserve it, and the hosts welcome it.

PRO TIP: The only thing better than having a stolen item is a broken stolen item. The next time you stumble into the middle of a roundabout, try dropping that mason jar you “borrowed”. It’s an absolute thrill, and neighbors love it.

Forget about public decency, public parks are your toilet. As you lean against the play structure inscribed with ‘slut’, don’t forget to have your friend take a quick snap! Posting your bare butt online is the easiest way to climbing that social ladder.

PRO TIP: Don’t stop with Instagram, text it to your mom! Nothing will make her prouder than seeing your full moon at dinner with a client.

Resting your liver is a NECESSITY. Spend the next day treating yourself to a warm shower and a chilled glass of prosecco. Remember, water was so last Monday.

PRO TIP: This day is YOUR day, but remember who got you here. Call your mom, apologize for yesterday’s photo, and promise to burn that green rag in her honor. Dignity or no dignity, respect yo motha.

That’s all I’ve got for you today, Redhawks. See you next year, and remember— shame is our game.

XOXO,
—Playday Guru (Shelby Barnes, Arts & Entertainment Editor)