Ask Anna Anything: An Advice Column for College Students

As a soon-to-be graduated student of Seattle University, I have spent the last few years of college relying on the good—and the bad—advice I have received from peers, family and friends. Each week I will answer two questions submitted by readers to the best of my ability. The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own.

Should I move in with my significant other after college?

Housing is arguably the most difficult aspect of going to college. It is hard to make decisions about who to live with and where to live. Moving in with a significant other can be a big step for a relationship so before you have that conversation, you should do some self reflection and ask yourself if you’re ready.

Every relationship is different and if you feel like moving in with the person you’re dating, then you should. It can be beneficial for your relationship emotionally and financially so there can be a lot of positives to living together. 

Having roommates in general can be challenging, regardless if you are dating them or not. There is always the possibility that roommates will not live well together and it won’t work so that is something to think about as well. I also want to point out that you can move in with a partner and recognize that you are not compatible living with one another. There is a stigma around moving in with someone you’re dating where you can’t move out after you cohabitate, and I disagree with that wholeheartedly. 

I think that if you realize you are not living well together, don’t let that ruin your relationship. Do what is best for you and move out if things aren’t going well between you two. This can be tricky if you signed a 12-month lease together, so maybe consider a month-to-month place to test out living together before committing to a long-term lease.

My hairdresser gave me great advice on moving in with a significant other: He said that getting a place with two bedrooms can be beneficial for a couple because it provides extra space to have alone time if needed. 

Ultimately the decision is up to you but thinking about the pros and cons will likely help you make the right decision. 

Is it hard to live with your best friends?

It can be. Living with your best friends sounds ideal but it can be challenging to differentiate between friend things and roommate things. This can sometimes cause tension in the house and lead to uncomfortable conversations. 

With that being said, living with my best friends as my roommates has been worth the conflict we’ve had to address in the last year. The pandemic has been isolating, so living with my favorite people has made this past year significantly better. We get under each other’s skin and argue from time to time, but overall, I wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Something that my house is good at is making sure we all get space from one another. We all have separate rooms which is nice, but everyone is also very respectful of space and making sure we get alone time if we want it. This helps the dynamic because although we live together, we still get the space we need to enjoy each other’s company. 

Our friendships have grown a lot because we live together. Although we deal with roommate issues every now and then, we work through it and it makes our friendship stronger. I will miss my roommates when we move away from each other, but I find comfort in knowing that our friendships are infinitely stronger because we live together. 

It’s not always easy and fun, but if you have a group of friends wanting to live together, it’s important to be honest and communicate with one another. You will run into issues no matter who you live with, but living with good friends can be rewarding and positive in the long run. 

Looking for some advice and wanting to remain anonymous? Submit a question to this form here or email [email protected] for any questions.