Giving relationship advice of any kind.

Q: Dear Mama Butts,
I have a friend (let’s call him… Condor Murrion) who I’m 100% in love with. But I don’t think he loves me back. We joke a lot about being boyfriends, but he’s the only one joking. Also, whenever I send him nudes, he never sends any back! I want to take our relationship to the next level, but I’m not sure how to get him to come along.
Love 4ever,
Sammucci

A: Hey Sammucci,
Sounds like your feathered friend is letting a lot of obvious signals “fly” over his head. If he’s joking with you though… we all know most jokes have a hint of truth to them. Maybe bring it up directly, sans nudes.

Q: Mama Mozzone,
What is the quickest and most effective way to get hitched this blessed Libra season?
Yours,
A Fishy Friend 

A: Hi Fishy,
Libra season can bring lots of indecision. To ensure success this season, be sure to assert your desires and make the first move. Your partner will likely enjoy the surprise, especially if it’s out of character for you. Good lick, and try to weigh the pros and cons of a bold move like this instead of blindly listening to an advice column.

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