Q: Someone is spreading rumors that they almost hooked up with me at a party. but it never happened, I don’t even go to parties! What do I do?

A: First of all, what kind of person goes around spreading lies like that? Seems kind of embarrassing that they feel compelled to say things that, according to you, are blatantly untrue. Don’t worry – if this person is telling lies as completely false as that one, then they’re probably spreading all sorts of other things that nobody would ever believe, “boy-who-cried-wolf” style. Forget them, and keep livin’ your life!

Q: I just met a girl through online dating, how do I move from casual talking to going on dates?

A: If you have any shared interests, try bonding on that! If you both have a passion for food, take her to an interesting restaurant. If you both like tech, maybe take her to the Living Computer Museum! A short but fun activity is my personal choice for a perfect first date.

Q: How can I possibly get through Aquarius season?

A: Try being positive by absorbing it vicariously through your local Aquarius. If you aren’t able to, avoiding all know Aquarii is the next best bet. Good luck, my friend.