Your Holiday Wake Up Call

Imagine this (cue Brooklyn accent). You’re at the dinner table. Your mom sitting across from you, your sister adjacent. As you stand up to cut the turkey, you drop the knife. Everyone laughs. It’s cute.

Change the scene, and now you’re kneeling in front of a tree.

You grab a square box beneath the branches, handing it off to your estranged cousin. You attempt to avoid hand contact because this individual has developed a fancy for you and incest is rightfully sinful. Family is weird. It happens.

Now take a step back and refocus. What do both these scenarios have in common? If you guessed the cliche life lesson of ‘being in the moment’ and enjoying an ‘organic’ experience, you’re correct. Wasn’t that refreshing? No phone, no social media, no nothing. Just you, those you love and the other materialistic shit that makes your world spin on its axis.

Similar to Oprah’s wisdom or the results of the 2016 presidential election, I to have a life lesson to share. I call it “Putting down your goddamn phone rather than being consumed by your own narcissism.”

I know, a little blunt, but this editorial comes with a therapist referral at the end of it, hakuna matata. But, real talk, consider me the Doctor Phil to your Octomom, the J-Low to your Snooki. I’m here to tell you it’s time to stop spending your holiday season through your Instagram feed, and rather, on the live feed right in front of you. Ring Ring. Who’s that? Me, your wake up call, and it’s about time you listened.

The truth is like waking up next to a one night stand. You don’t want to face what you’ve done, but need to in order to reach the door. So this holiday season, make your social media the one night stand. Close that door, walk away, and know that maybe, in a couple days, you’ll give it a call. Don’t stress, cry or worry, because I have one more life lesson. When you pick up that phone and dial the number, I can almost guarantee, they will pick up on the first ring.

Shelby Barnes, Managing Editor