Giving relationship advice of any kind.

Q: I think my dorm room is haunted.
What do I do?
A: Although relationships between mortals and ghosts is a new one for me – I’d recommend offering a friendly gift to show it you mean no harm. Odds are, the dorm room has belonged to the ghost far longer than you’ve lived there. Be a courteous roommate – offer the ghost some space in the mini fridge, wipe down the sink when you’re done. Whether your roommate is 18 years old or 800, they deserve the same manners.
Q: QUICK – I need a costume in less than five minutes.
A:
• Nametag with a different name on it
• Creepy Instagram makeup
• Timmy Turner (pink hat and shirt)
• The Spectator (cut a face hole in this issue and wear it)
• Nudist on strike
• Broke college student
• Sheet ghost
Q: I’m a ghost trapped in this mortal plane. How do I overcome my past sins and put my soul to rest?
A: I’d start with putting down The Spectator and doing some self-reflection.