The Guidance Counselor

Well y’all, all things must come to an end. I’m sad to say that this will be my last article as acting Guidance Counselor to you crazy shitheads. It’s been a good run and I think all of you who wrote in helped me just as much as I helped you. For this final article, I would like to just give you guys a few words of wisdom based on my experience these past years at Seattle U. Some things I had to learn the hard way and you will probably have to as well.

• Never, ever leave your dorm, apartment or house without your keys. Even if it’s just for a second and you think your roommate will still be there when you get home. Believe me, this may save you from a night of being locked out wondering if your second story bedroom window is open.
• For the love of God, stop trying to throw a party in your Chardin room.
• Make friends with your neighbors, on and off campus. Especially off campus. Who knows, maybe they are a bunch of dirty punk boys, but at least you know someone will be watching your back. One might even be kinda cute.
• Don’t trust everyone you meet in a bar, no matter how fine they are.
• Don’t just hang out with your class. That’s how things get boring and everyone dates the same people. Open your life up to people of every grade.
• Try, at least a little, to be kind to yourself.
• Just kiss her/him/them already! You won’t regret it… okay, yes, you probably will, but like “college” right?
• Shit changes quick, remember the positives above all else.
• If you need to cry, do it now. Go on a walk, come back and deal with it.
• Get off campus. How do you expect to grow as person if you hide at Seattle U?
• You will absolutely do something incredibly stupid when it comes to your love life, but the worst thing you can do is beat yourself up for it. EVERYONE HAS DONE IT!
• Spend a summer in Seattle, at least one if not all. Sublet with your best friend, work a terrible retail job, party too much, kiss people—a lot of people—go to the lake or the park when you have a day off. Wear cut-offs. Make sure you have the 4th of July off work.
• It will take forever, but finding the perfect brand of jeans is totally worth it.
• The truth is out there.

Keep it Classy,