Seattle University's student newspaper since 1933

The Spectator

Seattle University's student newspaper since 1933

The Spectator

Seattle University's student newspaper since 1933

The Spectator

The Grace Space: How to be a True Seattleite

    When I first came to Seattle, I was really surprised by how cool everyone was. Seriously, people here could wear Birkenstocks to a wedding and not get the stink-eye from the mother of the bride.

    Although there are a lot of students at Seattle University who are from Washington, there are also quite a few (about 60 percent) from elsewhere. Thus, there are more students than not who are just now realizing that rain can occur year-round (stop wearing heels ladies).

    For all of you who are still fascinated by how many coffee shops there really are in this city (AKA all of us), here are some things for you to focus on as you delve into your true Seattle persona and become an actual Seattleite…you’re welcome.

    1) Buy a raincoat
    Were you outside this past Saturday? It appears to be monsoon season in Capitol Hill, and, while this type of weather is not typical at this time of year, it would still be incredibly wise of you to invest in a good raincoat. You don’t want to try to pretend that you can deal with the everlasting sheets of rain just to look cool; just get a North Face and realize that there are seasons in this state.

    2) Get some combat boots/Birkenstocks
    As I mentioned earlier, Birkenstocks. Seriously, what a gift to mankind—I even have a Birk tan on my feet from this past summer; my love goes that deep. Yet, Birkenstocks don’t do your toesies any good when the rain and snow and overall hell of winter comes, so get some combat boots to look hardcore as you walk through two inches of snow for the first time in your life (I’m talking to you, CA/HI kids).

    3) Drink tea as often as possible
    People really like tea in Seattle, and you can’t make fun of them for that. I mean, have you gone to Remedy Teas?! Wonderland. Like Lorelai Gilmore once said, tea should be inserted into your arm with an IV. It will keep you warm and toasty throughout the year, and tastes pretty damn good. Take your own ceramic mug everywhere you go to look super pretentious.

    4) Read everything you can
    You’ve seen that “Portlandia” sketch right? Seattle is basically like that. I would start by reading your textbooks and then move onto books from local authors and then go onto really crazy writers who no one has ever heard of (same works with bands).

    5) Do a really out-of-place, extreme activity
    There are so many options for this category. Although people at Seattle U are really interested in hiking, bouldering and slack lining, may I suggest unicycling? Be unique (or just buy a bike).

    6) Get really unique tattoos or piercings
    Infinity symbols? Nose piercings? Psh, those are of a past time. Try to be as different as you can; get that Macklemore portrait on your back, and you’ll for sure have something to talk about at parties for the rest of your life.

    7) Eat only street meat
    Who cares if your parents dropped $1200 for you to eat well-prepared food at school? There are so many options for that ultimate Seattle delicacy, the hot dog, that you can’t be expected to be getting Beecher’s at the Bistro every night. No, I strongly recommend that you become the Ron Swanson you’ve always wanted to be and use all of your parents’ money to fulfill that dream.

    8) Don’t complain about the rain
    You came to school in Seattle—you should have expected this.

    I hope my tips for you all will aid you to become the best Seattleite that you can be, and, if not, please look up definitions for the words “sarcasm” and “satire.”

    Have a great week everybody.

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    Grace Stetson, Author

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