Q: I need a little advice, if you’re not too busy! I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a few months now, but I still get super nervous when I talk to her! She will say something nice or hug me and I want to do something back, but I get too nervous and I freeze up or do something stupid! Is there any way to get over this? Will it just take time or can I do something?
A: How cute! You probably aren’t being as stupid as you think, if she likes you as much as you seem to like her I bet she thinks you’re being dorky and cute. When I first started dating, I was so nervous all the time. I took little steps with myself, making more eye contact at first, the moving on to smaller forms of physical contact like hand holding! It’s okay to move slow, if that’s what you feel most comfortable with. You’ll have to put in some effort, but in my experience, once you do a scary thing, it becomes easier each time. Good luck, and I’d love a follow up if you make progress or need more advice!
Q: My best friend is dating this guy who I think isn’t good enough for her. I don’t want her to think I’m a bad friend, is there a way I can bring it up without hurting her feelings?
A: I think it depends how long she’s been dating him. If it’s only been a few weeks, I think she’ll likely trust your opinion enough for you to bring it up directly. If it’s been a few months, it’s harder territory. If she’s the type of person to put her friends first, you should be able to bring it up, although you’ll probably have to do a serious sit-down type of meeting. If it’s been over or around a year, it’s a lost cause, buddy. If he’s emotionally or physically abusive then please by all means address this issue ASAP. But if you just don’t like his personality, in all honesty maybe she sees something you don’t. I’d ask her what she likes about dating him, and how he makes her feel. Maybe talk about successful relationships you’ve had and how they made you feel, and if she’s not in love and feeling cared for it may help her see that she doesn’t feel that way in her own relationship.
