Welcome to the first edition of “Sports R Dumb!” You may be asking yourself, “wait a minute, isn’t this dude the sports editor? Why is his weekly column titled ‘Sports R Dumb?’”
It’s true, I am the new sports editor. But let’s face it, sports can be insanely frustrating sometimes. For example: The Mariners were the sexy pick to reach the World Series this year. Instead, the M’s had 24 blown saves, a bullpen that finished with a 4.15 ERA, the fifth worst in baseball. Spoiler alert, that’s really bad.
The Mariners have been so bad for so long, that they have beaten me into submission. For the last several years, I refused to buy into any hype. That all changed this last offseason. The Mariners made some big moves, finally opened up the checkbook, and brought in some key free agents to bolster the middle of the line up.
Almost overnight, I went from not buying into the hype, to driving the hype train. I even wrote a roughly 700 word article, detailing why this season was going to be different for the Mariners (don’t ask me for the link, I refuse to acknowledge that this column exists).
And how do they thank me? By finishing 5 games under .500 and winning 11 less games than last season! This year was supposed to be different! We were the chosen ones! Nelson Cruz was supposed to fill out our lineup, and our pitching staff was supposed to be one of the best in the majors!
Instead, untimely injuries to the pitching staff, a slow offensive start, and a bullpen that looked like it forgot how to throw a baseball, all derailed the hype train before it even left the station.
Still, I believed. “It’s early,” I said.
Then it was June. Still early.
July. Ok… starting to panic.
August: “That’s it, I quit. Is it football season yet?”
Then, miraculously, the M’s started playing some of their best ball of the season. In mid September they found themselves within striking distance of a wild card slot. Damn it Mariners, you’ve sucked me back in! Ok, we just have to avoid a big losing streak.
End of September: 6-game losing streak. Season over.
I hate sports. Sports R Dumb.