Tonight is the night—the premiere of “Catching Fire”—and self-respecting “Hunger Games” fans should be chomping at the bit to see this movie. Spend the day mentally, physically and emotionally preparing for the much-anticipated release with the following tips. When the clock strikes midnight, you’ll be ready to fight your way into the heart of the Cornucopia and snag the best seats. May the odds be ever in your favor.
1. Kill a squirrel. Roast it. Savor it.
2. Watch the “Catching Fire” trailer 24 times—once for each tribute.
3. Kindle as many fires as possible. Make a fire in your fireplace, go to Alki for a bonfire, spark a modest campfire, light tons of candles. If you have a lighter, just light it up every half hour or so throughout the day. Keep it in your pocket.
4.Whistle while you work.
5.Try on fancy wedding dresses.
I mean, damn, that dress is beautiful.
6. Knock down a beehive and run for your life.
7. Work out a ton. Work out until you can’t feel your body. Swim laps in the Sound. Summit Mt. Rainier two times in a row. Do 500 cleans. Feel Katniss’s pain.
8. Braid your hair. Braid other people’s hair.
9. Forage for edible plants on campus. Gather some hemlock, just in case you get stabbed in the back.
10. Paint yourself in camouflage.
11. Find an archery range and shoot off a few rounds. It’s good for the nerves and the forearms.
12. Reject authority. Don’t do your homework. Skip class. Yell at people. PURSUE JUSTICE.
13. Give a nice old woman a piggyback up Pike Street.
14. Drink like there’s no tomorrow—drink like you’re drinking with Haymitch.
So wasted, bro.
15. Fire a cannon.
16. Stay away from monkeys.
17. Bake some bread and toss it to the sad-looking people who pass by your house—but wait until it’s raining so the bread gets nice and soggy.
18. Shave all your teeth down into pointy spikes. It’ll make it easier to eat tough meat. And you’ll look cooler.
19. Instead of waving, give everyone the District 12 three-finger salute.
20. Buy a triton.
21. Adopt a surly cat.
22. Tell your little sister you love her. Give her a hug too.
This is love.
23. Nap on top of a tree—be sure to strap yourself down to the branch with a belt or bungee cords. Nap in a cave too.
24. Don’t drink water. The more dehydrated you are, the better.
25. Lie in bed and cry. I mean, really, just wail. Let it all out.